Things that make me happy

I think I've got a little case of the winters. We had a little thaw out time and I jogged outside with the dogs and got to leave the house without six layers of clothing and it was awesome. Then it got crazy cold and we got more snow. That little reminder of what life is like in other seasons made it all the harder to go back to winter.

So, instead of bumming you out with a long list of little nitpicky things that have been getting on my sunlight-deprived nerves, I'm going to give you a list of things that have been making me smile.



My dogs having a blast playing together in the back yard. They LOVE the snow, and it makes me less crabby about it.



Succulents. I am a notorious plant killer, but these guys are quite hardy. I also think it's hysterical that even our plants have dog hair on them.



And my aloe plant is sprouting little plants. I cannot even explain how nice it is to see a little green around the house.



Finding the time to read a book that made me laugh and cry and want to write love letters to all my friends.




That after 10 years of ignoring it, the cat has finally decided she loves her kitty condo. She also decided that she liked me for about five whole minutes today.



The pen and ink set J got me for Christmas. I love that I can refill it and that as long as I don't lose it, I could have this pen forever and ever.



The little Sasquatch on the recycled paper notebook I got for my to do list.



The frosted pink sake bottle from a really good bottle of sake (that didn't taste at all pink).




Finally taking the time to get my roots done and my hair cut. And also the fact that I'm totally incapable of taking my picture in the mirror.


What's been making you smile?

Wordless Wednesday - Snow Day

Writing Exercises

I've been getting a lot of questions about what writing exercises I do and how I do them, so I figured I'd post my current favorite writing prompt:

Take a song lyric, use it as your first line, and free-write for three minutes. Pick a short phrase – ex. “Come on, baby” instead of “Come on, baby, light my fire,” so it will be easier to allow yourself the freedom to go in a different direction from the actual song lyrics. If you decide you like the ideas you've come up with, make sure to take out the song lyric in the next round of edits.

My personal preference is to write in pencil on unlined paper. For me, the lack of lines limits the grade school test anxiety flashbacks, and the pencil on paper limits potential internet distractions. Different things work for different people. If you need a special pen, go for it. If you like to write on posterboard, go for it. The most important thing for you to do is write. Don't worry about grammar, spelling, handwriting, etc. Just let your mind finish the first phrase and keep going.

I set the timer on my phone and write for 30 minutes, but keep in mind that this is what I do, so putting that kind of time in makes sense for me. If you want to write but don't feel like you can squeeze it in, try five minutes. Or put some food in the microwave and write until the timer goes off. The point is to get ideas out, see what's lurking in the dark recesses of your brain, and see if you can turn it into anything you'll really want to work on.

Keep in mind that the end result of your writing exercise will not be good. It shouldn't be good. It's just a prompt, not a polished piece. You're just getting ideas, and just as you don't expect poetic perfection from yourself when you write out a grocery list, you shouldn't expect it from a writing exercise. Do not edit yourself in the exercise process - the editing comes later. Put your pen down and just write. Sometimes, you'll get something you want to keep working on, and sometimes you won't. Coming up short does not mean you're a bad writer, it means that the prompt, plus the instances of your day and your current frame of mind didn't equal an interesting idea. Don't give up.

In the same vein, do not allow yourself to see what you've come up with in a writing exercise as the end result. Don't do a writing exercise, decide it's actually quite a brilliant little short story and immediately submit it to McSweeney's. Sleep on it. For many nights. Good stories take editing. Good stories take pondering and tweaking and adjusting. There are times when a complete idea will come out all at once and you'll end up with the bones of an amazing story. You will still need time to fill in the skin and the hair and the fingernails and put a little cover up on the zits and under-eye circles. I'm sorry I turned us all into weird Dr. Frankensteins just now, but seriously, edit your work, even if you think it's awesome at the first pass.

Do you do writing exercises? Is it something you're interested in starting? Do you have any interesting writing rituals that work for you?

New Website!

Hey, check out the new website for STAY at AllieLarkinWrites.com! This blog is linked in, and I'll continue to update from here.

The Great Interview Experiment - Part 2

Kanani Fong over at Get Lost With Easy-Writer posted our interview. She asked some great questions! Please check it out!

The Great Interview Experiment

The following interview is part of The Great Interview Experiment started by Neil Kramer from Citizen of the Month. I interviewed Monica Steinway from I Love A Sex Addict, and was interviewed by Kanani Fong from The Kitchen Dispatch. I'll post a link to that interview when it's up. This was so much fun, because I was introduced to two new bloggers and got be a part of a really neat project. Monica's answers are following.

What made you decide to start blogging about your experience with your husband's sex addiction?

In the beginning blogging was about trauma management. I felt I needed to do something, to say something, to be heard by someone but I was so ashamed. So ashamed that I had somehow failed and allowed this cancer into our relationship. Being the tech goddess that I am I hit the internet determined to find someone like me. Someone who would confirm what I knew, but was unwilling to admit, was true. This was not my fault. I found Mary P Jones and from there began to discover the Junkies Wives Club. After realizing I was not alone I began blogging as a way to vent my frustrations and release my anger. Over the last several months my blog has become more about sharing the successes in recovery. Even though my husband still slips from time to time and struggles everyday to live a life he can be proud of, I know I am blessed to be able to climb out of the depths of this addiction with my husband by my side. So many wives/partners are forced to climb by themselves as I did for a time. I want others out there, in the early stages of recovery, to know that there is hope, and you can put it behind you.


You use your full name in connection with the site. did you consider blogging anonymously? What made you decide to attach your name to the blog?

I will start by saying Monica Steinway is not my real name, nor is my husband Alex. St. Monica is the mother of St. Augustine, a sinner turned saint, and a sex addict. The name Monica was derived from the following prayer with which I began my day.

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and the purity of your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for Alex,
and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.

The name is a constant reminder to persevere and never lose hope. Steinway is insignificant. It just has a nice ring to it.

To answer your question, I began with an anonymous name in order to protect my self from the perceived shame. Since I started this blog, there are several people in my life who now know about it. Since I have decided to get my degree and open a private practice, I imagine some day in the near future, you will find a post on my blog that says "and the Emmy for best performance in an auto biography goes to ... " And it will become revealed to all

Congratulations on your December wedding! What was your favorite part of the day?

As the reception was winding down. Most everyone left after about an hour or two, as was expected. And the only people that remained were my close family and a few good friends. We talked for hours, drank some beer/wine, and reminisced about old times until the fire died down. It was what I always imagined and the reason I had a small wedding in the first place.

What is your go-to comfort food?

Corned Beef and Cabbage. I can't get enough. Its a special food, we only have it on New yEars, and when we do the whole family comes over. Those are good memories.

What's your favorite book? (I have to ask). :)

I don't have one, I hate to read. :( I would have to say my favorite book is a sketch book. Words are not my friends, it is remarkable to me that I have found the perseverance to keep blogging. I did enjoy The Fountainhead and anything by Douglas Weiss or Patrick Carnes.

What part of your life is most disorganized? What part do you have down pat?

Most Disorganized? My sleep schedule. Extremely erratic, and I am sure very unhealthy. Down Pat? Running my own business. It was so hard in the beginning. There was so much to consider and take care of, it was overwhelming. It took about a year, but now that I have a system it is completely worth it to work for myself.

I'm an absolutely horrible dancer, but I grew up watching Fred Astaire movies and still secretly wish I could tap dance. Is there anything you wish you could do, but simply don't have the right set of abilities for?

BROADWAY! I would give everything I have to be talented enough for broadway. That would be the life

In five years, what one word do you hope will best describe you.

I will keep it simple: HAPPY

Did I forget to mention we live in the Arctic?

IMG_0445
Originally uploaded by AlliesAnswers

Oh, another week of meaning to blog and not quite getting to it, so here's a pretty picture, and now I'm going to do one of my rundown lists on the events of the past week. :)

• Last Sunday, J and I grabbed our very underused crampons, and went out to Chimney Bluffs on Lake Ontario to climb around on the ice and pretend to be Arctic explorers. We took tons of pictures on our phones, and if you click on the link above, it should take you to them -- if, you know, you're interested in seeing 60+ pictures of ice. I'll have to steal J's camera later and upload some of the ones of me in my sweet bright orange jacket (sale item, but super warm). It was the first time in a long time that we put aside our insane to do lists and just went out to play. It was much needed.
• Stella was due for her shots and I suspected (correctly) that Argo had an ear infection, so I did what any dog owner who doesn't think enough before she acts would do, and scheduled an appointment for both of them AT THE SAME TIME. The double lead leash works super well for walks when they are both going in the same direction. Not so much in waiting rooms when Stella wants to hide and Argo wants to cuddle with everyone. When the vet tech was weighing Stella, Argo taught himself how to open the exam room door and let himself back into the waiting room to, presumably, cuddle with everyone. And when the vet came in, Argo got super protective of Stella, so after he got his ears checked out, I had to run him out to the car. I have realized it is not, in fact, easier to take both dogs in at once. Separate appointments from now on, unless J can come and wrangle dogs with me.
• I got J hooked on Friday Night Lights so I have an excuse to watch all the episodes again. As a result, I have been walking around singing, "Oh, Landry! Well you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away, oh Landry," because a. Barry Manilow is awesome, b. it totally fits, doesn't it? c. Landry is awesome, and d. I'm weird.
• I launched, Operation Please Stop Making Your Husband Look At You Wearing 15 Year Old Theatre Production T-shirts (or OPSMYHLAYWFYOPT) and bought myself some actual PJs that don't have holes in them or advertise the most awful, un-diverse production of The Wiz that ever was performed.
• I faced the fact that online to do list systems don't work for me, no matter how much I love the idea of being all high tech about organization, and went back to writing things down.
• I played phone tag with Lady.
• I took a good, long bath, complete with bath salts, a mass market paperback, and a good glass of wine.
• I started my days this week with 30 minutes of writing exercises.

What have you been up to this week?