Yesterday, I wrote this really long diatribe about how confident and comfortable I am in my own skin now and how I like me and I'm proud of my accomplishments. Then the segment I taped came on TV and I got distracted and didn't hit send.
They were so kind to me at the station and I am really so thankful for the opportunity, but can I just say Holy unflattering camera angle, Batman! I'm trying to be good and recognize that I don't really look like that. It's a combo of angle and lighting and all that fun stuff. There is actually definition between my neck and my face and I don't have the neck version of cankles. At least not that badly. I am trying really hard. I am also trying to think, so what if I looked bad. I'm not my appearance. I have a brain. That's what's important. And I sounded okay. I really did.
But the irrational part of me is still not ready to get out of my pajamas, and is actually taking the whole thing pretty hard.
This is totally not a cry for "oh, you looked good" compliments. This is a cry for "oh, I don't think you're superficial, I know how you feel," commiseration.