Friday, November 14, 2008

So glad I didn't hit Publish Post

Yesterday, I wrote this really long diatribe about how confident and comfortable I am in my own skin now and how I like me and I'm proud of my accomplishments. Then the segment I taped came on TV and I got distracted and didn't hit send.

They were so kind to me at the station and I am really so thankful for the opportunity, but can I just say Holy unflattering camera angle, Batman! I'm trying to be good and recognize that I don't really look like that. It's a combo of angle and lighting and all that fun stuff. There is actually definition between my neck and my face and I don't have the neck version of cankles. At least not that badly. I am trying really hard. I am also trying to think, so what if I looked bad. I'm not my appearance. I have a brain. That's what's important. And I sounded okay. I really did.

But the irrational part of me is still not ready to get out of my pajamas, and is actually taking the whole thing pretty hard.

This is totally not a cry for "oh, you looked good" compliments. This is a cry for "oh, I don't think you're superficial, I know how you feel," commiseration.

8 comments:

David said...

So when can we see the video? :-)

Allie said...

It's on the other site. :)

Howling Hill said...

I focused on hearing your voice not so much what you look like, your mannerisms, or even your message (because I know it from your blog).

You did a great job but I know my typed words won't do anything to alleviate your discomfort. You just have to feel it from within.

Noelle said...

In watching the video, I thought they were way too extreme close-up on you, and there was an odd light coming from the top that should have been diffused. It's like they lit you as if you were a brunette, not a radiant blonde, and the effect was that you got washed out. Good lighting is so key!

Speaking as someone who sat across a table from you for more than an hour, that is not an accurate depiction of your looks.

The Modern Gal said...

Commiseration: I has it.

I made a cameo in an online video for the local newspaper. I didn't know I'd be doing it, so I didn't prepare well with makeup and clothing choice and as a result looked 10 lbs heavier with horrible skin.

And the evil trolls who leave comments on the newspaper's website devolved into a discussion about how we weren't hot. Talk about a severe confidence blow on something that I shouldn't even care about.

Courtney said...

I just commented on the post above this one, but I repeat: You looked good. And I'm not saying it to make you feel better, but because it's true. (OK, I do want you to feel better. But it's still true!)

Mickey said...

I'm glad Noelle mentioned the lighting, because she's a pro, but I was thinking the same thing. The hair light was a bit much. And the angle and whatnot. Hey, those people at the studio are just doing their best, I guess.

Wendy said...

Isn't that the way it always goes? Just when you feel good about yourself of good in your skin, something comes along to knock you totally off balance. Been there - still doing that!